Bo Southend STC New Year Masters Open Meet - OOPS

There always has to be a first one, and this is how it happened 
for 1998.
It was a mens' one length sprint event.
	Starter: 	"Take your marks."
	Lane 6 		(who shall remain anonymous): "Aaaaah"
	Everyone: 	Looks at lane 6
	Lane 6: 	Windmills with arms, trying desperately to 
			adjust to new post-Xmas centre of gravity, 
			followed by the inevitable "Spash".
	Everyone: 	A great cheer.
	Lane 6: 	Emerges from water looking sheepish and 
			apologises to everyone.
And that was the only one all night, except that.....

Later that evening, it was the mens' one length butterfly.
	Starter: 	"Take your marks."
	Swimmers: 	All prepare
	Starter: 	Presses electronic starting gun
	Starting gun:	"Squeek"
	5 swimmers: 	Dive in.
	1 swimmer: 	Stands there on blocks in disbelief. 
			Looks at starter. 
			Then dives in to try to catch up.
	Starter: 	Now decides that it was an unfair start, 
			so presses the electronic starter button to 
			call the swimmers back.
	Starting gun:	"Squeek, squeek, hoot, squeek, hoot ..."
	Judges:		Wrestle to make the false-start rope drop.
	3 swimmers	Swim past this.
	Judges:		Eventually get the rope to drop, 
			stopping two swimmers, and the last one in.
	Fast swimmers:	Oblivious to events, all do PBs, World Records, 
			etc. on reaching the end exhausted.
	Starter:	Announces that the race will have to be re-swum, 
			but not immediately.  Then spends five minutes 
			trying to get the electronic starter to work: 
	Starting gun:	"Squeek, squeek, hoot, squeek, hoot, squeek ..."

And thats not all.

Prior to the meet, the entire Chelmsford team entries together with 
some others got lost in the Christmas post. Apparently they were sent 
to Scotland (well what do you expect with a post code starting with the 
letters "SS") and on the night additional pages were rapidly added to 
the programme - in some cases this meant Gravesend having the last heat 
to themselves regardless of submitted times.

Finally, the Maidstone team, who bravely ventured out into the storm, 
found that the QE2 bridge across the Thames had been closed because of 
the high winds and all traffic had been diverted through the Dartford 
tunnel, causing a five mile jam. Cleverly they phoned the organisers, 
who delayed the start specially for them.

Regardless of these happenings, an enjoyable evening was had by all.
What a way to start the new year.

Results are to follow. ???maybe???

Happy new year.